my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
