there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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