the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
