I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
