let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
