She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Randomize
