I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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