i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
