I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
