Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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