Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
that may or may not have been my penis.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
