I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Jerry, you need to find god
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
