so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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