Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
