he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
