You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
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