Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
