so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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