dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
