Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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