The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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