I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
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