There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
