...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
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