I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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