Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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