Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
