i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
