Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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