Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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