I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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