Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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