She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
