So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
