I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
