I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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