3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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