Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
