C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
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