my mouth tastes like poor choices
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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