its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
