Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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