She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
