Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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