And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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