VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
