Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
