I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Randomize
