I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
