so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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