No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
why does every cop we meet know your name?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
