definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
